Time to take a step back from everything. Time to slap myself in the face with reality. Time to stop avoiding my feelings, stuffing down the anger, and pretending that this rut I’m stuck in is the only way to live for the next two months.
I may not believe in recovery as I go to bed tonight, but I will wake up tomorrow and fight my absolute hardest again. Tomorrow, I will wake up and go to work, then come home and go to the store, and go to rehearsal. I will live my life in recovery, excited for the future and reveling in every moment.
I will not punish my body by condemning it to wear baggy clothes. I will make sure I complete my meal plan 100%. I will eat what I actually *want* to eat, not what I only think I’m allowed to. I will not stare at myself in the mirror with disgust and hatred. I will study my lines and pay attention to what’s going on in rehearsal.
It’s been extremely difficult lately, and I don’t like how much I’ve been falling into a relapse. I’m genuinely scared right now, and I feel incredibly lonely and stupid. But tomorrow is a new day—no matter how difficult life gets, the important thing is to live it with hope.
Stay Strong, lovelies.
Anonymous asked: you're loved more than you think
This really meant a lot to me to see, anon.
Thank you. <3